
Why “they didn’t mean it” doesn’t mean you’re healed
I’ll tune into someone and say, “Hey, the child part of you is showing me that she’s hurt, and that it was your parent who hurt her.”
It happens sometimes that the client will say, “Oh, I’ve dealt with that. I understand why my parent did it: It’s because of [insert reason]. So they didn’t mean to hurt me. I know that they did the best they could, and I’m over it.”
It’s beautiful when we can come to this understanding: Part of healing is intellectual. By that, I mean that we need to understand what happened and why. That helps us to process things in a healthy way.
But it does not undo the fact that you got hurt.
You. Got. Hurt. Period. And that hurt is imprinted on you until you have healed it. The wound is still in your heart and your soul—until you have healed it. (Trust me, I’ve seen it. It’s still there.)
So I’ll go back to the client and say just that: “It’s great that you understand why this happened, but your soul is still showing me the pain associated with it–not from today, but back from the time when it occurred. Would you let me finish healing this for you?”
Forgiveness, letting it go, understanding the whys—these are all part of the process.
But just remember to acknowledge that it did hurt you, especially if it was a child part of you; and that part may still need your attention.
~ Jen
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BA (Psychology), MSc (Intelligence Analysis)
Reiki Master, Shamanic Practitioner, Psychic Healer
Yoga Teacher (RYT200), Elite Life Coach
with CE credits from NICABM in treating trauma and PTSD