“I Am Who I Came Here To Be”

It happened about ten years ago. Plus or minus a year. I was sitting on my favorite part of this Earth: the soft fold of Bell Rock in Sedona, Arizona. I was facing not Sedona but Courthouse Butte, just off to the side; not the typical view, but the one to which I was drawn.

It was May. Tourist season had not yet launched.  Therefore, the land was still somewhat quiet. I had this side of Bell all to myself.

It was the beginning phase of my true spiritual journey. I had previously had no affinity for Sedona, save for the fact that I had heard of it. Then a friend went there for vacation and told me how wonderful it was. I looked it up for myself and knew that I had to go.

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So here I sat on this rock that felt like a home to my soul; cross-legged, peaceful, alone. And with the support and encouragement of Bell, a new part of me rose to the surface: the part of me that had been laying inside of me, quiet, all of my life; my soul. No longer wanting just to observe, she now made herself known by way of a declaration.

She picked up a stone, leaned forward, and scratched a message onto the surface of Bell Rock.

When she was finished, she sat back.

I looked at what had been written.

“I want to be who I came here to be.”

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Seeing this message literally scratched into stone was profound. It offered a realization that there was more to me than I was allowing to be expressed. It also offered the realization that I was not already who I came here to be. That there was work to do. And my soul was wanting now to do it.

I had enough background in spirituality and in the importance of using the correct words to know that the message was not quite right, though. It needed to be adjusted. Because the statement was putting the goal outside of me—it was saying “I want this,” which is a statement about the future. And the future is always going to be separate from the present moment. A true goal must be stated as if it is here now.

And I knew that this was indeed a true goal for me. Probably, it was why I had been drawn home to Sedona.

So I crossed out some of the words and re-wrote part of the statement.

“I am who I came here to be.”

My soul was happy with the words I had chosen.  They meant that I was committed.

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With this declaration, the rest of my life would now come into alignment so as to make this true.
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It took a period of years for everything to change. It began at a relatively easy pace, and then that pace intensified. Eventually, coming into alignment with who I came here to be was the only activity for which I lived. The transformation also happened in stages; the deepest level of surrender was to occur several years later, in the moment I touched my forehead to the floor and gave up all that was left to Spirit and my Highest Purpose.

I must be honest and say that, of course, all of this transformation and re-alignment was not a pleasant experience. I did not enjoy it. I lost everything. Including my identity. There were long periods of emptiness—complete inner desolation.

But then it all got rebuilt. And the interesting thing is that life now looks similar to life back then, but is much more free and loving. I am purely authentic now. All of that which was not pure me has been removed from who I am. And my life is being lived at a much higher turn of the spiral.

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I am who I came here to be. And there is such peace in that. There is no more grasping. No more wondering. No more hiding or posturing. I just am.

And no matter what happens to my life, I exist knowing that I have already done what I came here to do—discover and become the authentic me. Everything else is just a bonus.

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If you would like to become more aligned with who you came here to be, then I would be honored to help you.

Arrange your free consultation or schedule an appointment.

~ Jen

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Read a more fulsome account of my spiritual and Shamanic awakening journey, in “25,000 Miles to Me: Faith, Endurance, and Uncovering My True Self.”

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